Britt Maggs

Self-Love Habits

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What I’ve Learned Winter 2017

03.02.2017 by Britt // 1 Comment

One of my favorite bloggers, Emily P. Freeman, has this practice of looking back on what we’ve learned over the past season before moving onto the next. It’s a way to slow down, reflect, and become more familiar with ourselves. I’ve decided to take up this practice for myself so here are 7 things I  have learned over this past Winter.

(If you want to see what Emily and others are sharing you can check it out and link up for yourself here.)

 

1. Dutch Braids

Dutch Braid

I’ve always loved looking up hair-dos on Pinterest and combining different elements into my up-dos. (check out my hair-do board here .) One thing I’ve been trying to master for awhile is the Dutch braid. They come out looking different than a french braid and for certain looks I wanted to try, I knew I needed to master them.

Now, I might just be braidedly challenged but I watched tutorials and looked at pictures and could NOT for the life of me, figure out this braid. Then my mom explained it so simply: “It’s exactly like a french braid except you put the strands under instead of over.” WHY DIDN’T ANYONE JUST SAY THAT???

Thanks to that explanation I have now mastered the dutch braid.

2. I Sleep More Deeply Without a Bed Frame

This is something I learned accidentally. I recently got rid of my old black iron bed frame because I didn’t like having my bed so high. (I’m only 4′ 10″ and I felt like I was climbing into my bed every night.) So I ditched the bed frame and have just been sleeping on a box spring and mattress. Since I did that I have been falling asleep quicker, dreaming every night, and waking up feeling more refreshed and rested.

3. Taking Public Transportation is Good for My Soul

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I currently work about 30 minutes from where I live, or at least it SHOULD be 30 minutes. With traffic getting worse in Denver my commute over this last year has begun to gradually wear me down. However, since RTD finished the R Line Lightrail system this last month there is now a train that will go from my home straight to my work in 25 minutes.

The difference is amazing. I love that my commute time is consistent and I don’t have to leave so early. I love that I can read, text, email, or write on the train and don’t have to focus on driving. I love people watching. I also especially love the views of the mountains and the city that you get from the rail. THIS will probably be a life save for my sanity.

4. People’s Emotions Aren’t My Responsibility

I have always had an empathetic caring spirit but where I’ve gone wrong is in taking up responsibility for other people’s emotions. I say yes to things I don’t really want to do because I don’t think people can handle the disappointment or I am scared of making them angry or sad. Because if someone is angry or sad I also feel like I need to “fix” it. Make them feel better. Because if they are angry or sad I often feel angry or sad too.

I have learned that peoples feelings are their feelings and they are allowed to have them and work through them however they want. I can still be there and acknowledge their feelings but it isn’t my job to take up their emotions for myself and then try to make them go away. It is simply my job as a friend, sister, daughter, girlfriend to stand in the waves of their emotions with them. Along with this I learned from Brene Brown that being empathetic with someone means recognizing what they are feeling and drawing from my past experiences to remember how it felt and to say “me too”, it does not mean to sit with them and actually take up and feel what they are currently feeling.

Emotions are a tricky thing for me.

5. Eggplant Lasagna Tastes Basically as Good as Normal Lasagna

This one is courtesy of my roommate who is an amazing cook and also gluten and dairy free. She mentioned something about Eggplant Lasagna one night and I was interested so she taught me how to make it. I was literally SHOCKED by how good this tastes. I would probably try to cook the eggplant without the skin (texture weirds me out) but other than that it was literally just like lasagna.

6. How to Use a Bullet Journal


I’ve been hearing about the bullet journal for over a year now. I tried it in college but with working, school, and all my other activities I much preferred seeing my week laid out visually and blocked out in colors.

Now that I am working full time and am tackling some bigger goals this year I am in LOVE with the bullet journal. I am still experimenting and tweaking some stuff with how I use it but I have found that there was a lot of stuff I was tracking before in journals, planners, and calendars that I can now keep in one place.

7. Getting an Actual Wax Hurts Way Less Than the Strips

I am a pretty hairy person. It never really bothered me before but lately I have become more aware of it and have found that at least for my face, I feel so much more fresh and confident with a smooth face. I was attempting to wax my own face with strips for awhile and finally decided to just go to an actual waxing salon. I was scared that it was going to hurt way worse since its REAL wax but found that the real wax hurt way less than the strips I’ve been using.

 

Let me know some of the things you have learned over this Winter in the comments below. Let’s step into this new season confident and excited for all that we still have yet to learn.

 

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Categories // Soul Coffee

Being Beautiful Won’t Fix Your Insecurities

02.23.2017 by Britt // Leave a Comment

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As women it’s easy to think that being beautiful will fix everything. 

For so long I subconsciously felt that if I were only skinny, more feminine, had straight hair and would just learn how to properly apply make-up, then I would finally be good enough. And if I was good enough then I was certain that the voices in my head that made me ashamed and insecure would finally shut up and quit bothering me. I would finally be outgoing.

Confident.

Popular.

I remember during my sophomore year of college. There was this girl I knew OF but didn’t know super well. This girl was my ideal image of beauty. She was small, thin, hilarious, witty, mature, and always dressed perfectly cute with sarcastic green eyes. She wasn’t afraid to talk to guys and flirt and be herself. She seemed so confident and appeared to be careless about whether anyone liked her or not. She was the life of the party. Always posting pictures of her cool adventures online with laughing friends in every frame. When I saw her she was always entertaining a circle of laughing people.

THAT.

That was what I wanted to be. I wanted to be just like her. I was sick of being shy and of always feeling ugly. I hated constantly feeling worthless and wondering if people even liked me. I wanted to not care what anyone thought. I wanted to be free to be myself and to be happy with who I was.

One day I overheard her and a friend talking.

About boys.

And their conversation rocked my little heart.

“…yeah but that’s what I bet he likes about you, you’re different.”Her friend said.

She looked at her with questioning eyes, “You really think he likes…ME?”

This girl who I thought was the picture of womanly perfection, this girl with all the guys watching her and the ladies laughing with her, this girl who was a perfect display of spiritual maturity and leadership and confidence, and style and grace…

her heart was asking the same questions as mine.

She was wondering if she was noticed.

She wondered if she was good enough.

She wondered if she was genuinely liked.

I knew those questions by heart, like a sad little script I recited to myself constantly.

I thought that if I could change my appearance maybe I could change my shy and timid heart. That day I began to question if that was true.

Because what if I lost the weight and I was still quiet?

What if I learned to apply makeup and guys still just saw me as a “friend”?

What if it still wasn’t enough? What would I do then?

That day was when I realized my hearts burning questions ran so much deeper than the body I was living in.

We think we are chasing after the worth of our bodies but the truth is we are hungry to know the worth of our souls. It’s easy to get hung up on the outside, that first layer of ourselves, because it’s the first thing people see and judge but what we really want to know is that we are loved and accepted for ALL of who we are.

We don’t want to be accepted simply for our weight or our trendy  clothes.

Plus I learned that the voices inside of your head don’t care about whether you’re having a great hair day or not. They won’t be silenced by a compliment on your clothes. The secret to stopping insecurity is not to appease the voices and become “perfect.” What we must do is step bravely into the open,  in all the glorious mess that we are,  and listen to the people all around us that fully embrace us just as we are.

We don’t need to become perfect we need to hear that it’s okay if we aren’t.

So remember, no matter what you feel to be true you are enough.

and you are beautiful…just like this.

 

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Categories // Self Love

Love is Not in a Bouquet

02.14.2017 by Britt // Leave a Comment

I didn’t get a bouquet today.

Today I watched from the sidelines.

Watched all the sweet Facebook posts, the Instagram pictures of flowers and chocolates, I watched friends fawn over teddy bears and listened to co-workers plans for nice evenings out. I’ve never been a huge fan of Valentines day. It has always felt like a holiday with a lot of unspoken pressure and expectations that aren’t rooted in authentic affection, at least not for me.

Then I was forced to watch that pitying look in the women’s eyes when they asked what my boyfriend got me for Valentines day and I smiled and said, “Nothing.” Then they asked if we were doing anything special for Valentines day and I responded with, “No, nothing special.” They looked at me and frowned and walked away shaking their heads and I imagine inside they were probably thinking, “Wow, her boyfriend must not care about her  at all and she probably just has to pretend it’s okay.”

But the truth is that I’m not a huge gift person and my boyfriend knows that. And the honest truth is I’d much rather  just spend a day with him than have him give me a giant teddy bear. I love romantic gestures and surprises as much as the next girl but I want them to be based out of him choosing to, not because there is a holiday that is pressuring him to express affection in predetermined ways. I want any flowers or letters to be real and heartfelt, not rushed out of obligation.

More than all of that I learned a long time ago that love is not dictated by the grand gestures we put on in front of everyone, where love truly lives is in the quiet moments when no one is watching.

Love is the good morning text he sends every. single. day. The way he makes me laugh hard even on my bad days. It’s the way he listens and remembers all the little things about me. How he talks to me even when he’s having a bad day at work. How he orders a regular burrito because I ordered green chille and he knows it will be too hot for me. Love is cleaning up puke out of the bathtub. It’s driving thirty minutes to see each other and talking everyday. It’s being humble enough to apologize first and gracious enough to forgive right away. It’s him putting up with my crazy self and me being patient with his stubbornness. It’s letting me cry and never telling me to stop being “emotional” it’s him buying me flowers just because and letting me play video games even though I suck. It’s eating my bacon with a smile even though it’s basically burned and 65% ash. It’s the forehead kisses and the singing in the car, the silly dances and spitting water at eachother. It’s letting me still hangout even though I’ve broken like 15 things of his. It’s him always paying, always driving, and always encouraging me to be better.

No, I didn’t get a bouquet today but I don’t need flowers to know I am loved. I don’t need chocolate to remind me how sweet this life is. I am incredibly lucky and grateful for all the little everyday ways I am made to feel beautiful and loved.

So for the singles or the girlfriends who didn’t get much today, don’t let this holiday define your worth. There is more to this life than your ideas about romance and we have to love ourselves like we aren’t waiting for someone else to do it first. And if you’re sitting alone feeling unlovable today, you may be missing the love that’s right under your nose because you’re looking for the shimmering Elderado of romance that seems to be out there. But that Elderado everyone describes is built slowly from the flecks of gold we pull one piece at time from the river of this life.

Don’t take the little things for granted.

And don’t be surprised in those moments when love sneaks up on you softly.

Take all those little messy pieces of life and make a bouquet of the memories, inside jokes, and clumsy words.

Step back.

And know that this, yes THIS is all you need.

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Categories // Relationships

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