Tomorrow is the first day of Spring and I am SO READY. I was inspired a few years ago by Emily P. Freeman’s seasonal list of what she has learned and I started keeping one for each season myself. I like things being split into seasons (basically quarters) and looking back on the previous one as I get ready to step into the new.

Here are a few of the things I learned this past winter, both whimsical and serious.

A great method for staying consistent with creating content

I have had a blog for a while now and have wanted to take my Instagram to the next level for years. This year I feel like I FINALLY have created a rhythm of writing and creating that has allowed me to post content more consistently than I ever have before. I have figured out how helpful it is to have all my big projects (like these blog posts) broken down into 5-minute tasks so I can work in pockets of time instead of feeling like I need a full day to get anything done.

 

What the Commonwealth is

I probably should have known this WAY before this year but I didn’t. I have started a new habit of writing down phrases or books or concepts or anything people mention that I don’t know so I can look them up later. This was one of those things I heard someone say and I was like “huh I better google what that actually is.”

 

How much what I eat can affect my mood, energy, and anxiety.

I always kind of knew that food had somewhat of an effect on my body and my mood but I didn’t realize how much it did until this winter. I have seen how much dairy and sugar specifically affect my anxiety and PMS symptoms. It’s frustrating in a way but also empowering because I have realized that I have a choice about what foods go into my body and it’s been nice knowing that just by changing my diet I can feel better.

 

How astronauts go to the bathroom

Something my siblings and I ended up googling because my youngest brother brought it up. Without gravity, I was curious how it worked. Rest assured it’s basically a vacuum system that handles everyone’s business.

 

That “good enough” really is good enough.

I haven’t mentioned it much but the word I chose for this year was “messy”. It’s based off a poem and I chose it as a reminder that action is better than perfection. That creating, even if it’s not “perfect” blesses my soul and those around me. Even in just these short few months, I have seen how showing up imperfectly is so so so much better than trying to show up perfect. I grew up thinking you shouldn’t “half-ass” something. I find with myself though, that doing something halfway is better than not doing it all. I am finding that I feel so much better letting myself just sweep the kitchen real quick even though I don’t have time to mop too. That just cleaning things so they look decent is good enough and I don’t have to get under all the furniture and clean off all the light fixtures. I am learning that words written quickly and sincerely are better then words written not at all.

 

Afternoon is 12:00pm-6pm, “Evening” is 6-10pm, and “Night” is anytime after sundown

My coworker and I googled this one day at work wondering when you’re technically supposed to say “good afternoon” versus “good evening”. So technically evening and night can sometimes overlap but evening proper is 6-10pm. The more you know.

 

 

That the person I struggle to set boundaries with the most is myself.

About five years ago I went to a therapist for the first time because I was feeling super anxious and overwhelmed. I learned that I had codependency and boundary issues. I have done A LOT of work since then on learning how to say no, be honest about my limits, not taking responsibility for other people and keeping healthy boundaries between myself and others. After getting married though, I noticed that while I may do a pretty good job at saying “no” when I need to with other people, I am not very good at saying “no” to myself. I am really wrestling lately with letting myself take a break, admitting that I am tired to myself, and not pushing myself further than I know I really should. I am working on having boundaries with myself, one of which is that the weekend is for fun and rest, not work. Whatever I didn’t get to during the week can wait until Monday. I am working on keeping promises to myself. If I make a commitment to show up and work out I need to respect that just as I would an appointment with a client. It hasn’t been easy but something I am hoping to continue working on and growing in this year.

 

 

SO tell me in the comments what is something you learned this Winter? I would love to hear it. 

 

I spent the majority of my life thus far single. I remember how triggering Valentines day was for me and how I wanted nothing more than a man and a romantic night out. Thankfully I had great friends and great role models showing me and inspiring me how to celebrate Valentines day on my own or with friends. So here are 14 ideas for you that I’ve done myself over the years. Hopefully these give you inspiration for Valentines day this year if you find yourself single.

• Grab Takeout from your favorite place and schedule a night of self-care and good movies. Do the face masks, the self-tanning, waxing, all the things you put off making time for.
• Light candles and take a bubble bath. Watch Netflix on your laptop or read a book while you’re in there.
• Schedule a lesson in something new you want to learn. It could be a cooking class, pottery, glass blowing, horse backing riding or guitar lessons. It’s a great day to go do that thing you’ve always wanted to.
• Get dressed up with your best girlfriends. Go ALL out. You don’t need a partner to buy sexy underwear. Put on the lashes and the makeup and buy a dress that makes you feel gorgeous and spend a night out on the town enjoying fancy drinks and expensive desserts and laughing hard over everything.
• Book yourself a weekend getaway (preferably with a hot tub). Enjoy time away from home. Sometimes a change of scenery makes it easier to relax. Read, hike, sleep, watch TV, and enjoy the local restaurants and attractions.
• Treat yourself to a spa day. Pay for an actual massage and go all out. Your body will feel refreshed and you will feel like a new person.
• Get your nails done or your hair done or anything that helps you feel beautiful, put together and confident.
• Take a hike and do some self-reflection. What has been great about this year so far? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to become? What are your career goals? What qualities do you want to cultivate in yourself? What are your dreams? What are some fun things you can plan for this year?
• Write a letter of encouragement and love to yourself. Tell yourself all the things you love about yourself and encouragement for all you’ve been through and all you’re doing. Make it a bit mushy. Write yourself the love letter you long for from a SO.
• Invite a bunch of girlfriends over to drink wine and watch some rom coms. Have fun, laugh, and give each other valentines if you want.
• Try a new recipe that you’ve really been wanting to make and cook yourself a delicious dinner.
• Go to a winery and do the taste testing. Learn what kind of wine you like and how to pair the best foods with it. If you find one you like buy a bottle or two.
• You know the mushy things couples usually do? Like the two for one date night specials or horse carriage rides or ice skating? Whatever you dream of doing with a partner one day, stop waiting and just take your bestie instead!
• Volunteer and show love to someone else. People in nursing homes love receiving roses and little valentines. Write letters to our men and women serving in the military. Offer to babysit for a couple so they can go out and enjoy a date night for once. Spend the day helping out at an animal rescue or a homeless shelter or any organization in your local community you feel passionate about. It’s hard to feel sorry for ourselves when we are loving and giving to others in need.

Valentines Day is a day of love and while it’s become centered around couples, you don’t have to be in a relationship to give and receive love. I hope you also know a relationship is not what makes you worthy. Band together with other singles and instead of dodging all the couples on your newsfeed have fun and make some memories.

 

Love ya babes

 

Part of embracing where you are is also knowing that your growth will look different from those around you. You can’t compare the growth of yourself to those who have different circumstances or resources that you do not. A flower growing in the sidewalk cracks is going to bloom differently from one planted in a flower bed and fed fertilizer and kept warm and watered on a schedule.

Some of us have to take what we can get and work with it. Soak up every drop of the last rain storm and conserve our energy and soak up the sun and wait to grow until we have enough. The point is, you can still grow right where you are but it is going to look different. You may not have a free hour each day to work out but if you have time to scroll you have five minutes to try ONE yoga pose. You might not have money to buy a bunch of fancy snacks from Whole Foods but you can switch out your morning cereal for some eggs instead. You might not be able to sit down and spend an hour in your devotions but you can steal away time to read a verse or listen to worship music on your drive to work.

If there is something you want to do and you’ve always just told yourself that you can’t, think of something you can do in five minutes that will move you towards who you want to become. You CAN. You do not need to have her money, her time, house or family to be able to move towards what you want. Every little bit counts and every five minutes spent well adds up. We have to start breaking down our all or nothing mentality. The thinking that we have to be amazing or be nothing at all is literally what’s stopping us. There will always be someone who seems to be growing faster than you and there will also be those who are lagging behind. Stop comparing and only look at yourself and focus on where you want to go not where everyone else is.

If you only lose 10lbs this year or write half your first draft or run a 5k instead of a marathon, all of it’s better then nothing and all of it is better then where you were last year. Flowers, they don’t know to be dissatisfied with where their seeds have fallen, they only know to grow. So let that be us this year. May we work with what we have, and stretch towards the Sun and soak up the rain and grow right where we are. May we be gracious with ourselves and with others as we have all walked into this year with wounds and heavy hearts and the fact that the calendar switched to 2021 didn’t change that. May we be patient with ourselves and eachtoher as we all try to do better. You are loved, you are growing, you are enough right where you are.