Part of embracing where you are is also knowing that your growth will look different from those around you. You can’t compare the growth of yourself to those who have different circumstances or resources that you do not. A flower growing in the sidewalk cracks is going to bloom differently from one planted in a flower bed and fed fertilizer and kept warm and watered on a schedule.

Some of us have to take what we can get and work with it. Soak up every drop of the last rain storm and conserve our energy and soak up the sun and wait to grow until we have enough. The point is, you can still grow right where you are but it is going to look different. You may not have a free hour each day to work out but if you have time to scroll you have five minutes to try ONE yoga pose. You might not have money to buy a bunch of fancy snacks from Whole Foods but you can switch out your morning cereal for some eggs instead. You might not be able to sit down and spend an hour in your devotions but you can steal away time to read a verse or listen to worship music on your drive to work.

If there is something you want to do and you’ve always just told yourself that you can’t, think of something you can do in five minutes that will move you towards who you want to become. You CAN. You do not need to have her money, her time, house or family to be able to move towards what you want. Every little bit counts and every five minutes spent well adds up. We have to start breaking down our all or nothing mentality. The thinking that we have to be amazing or be nothing at all is literally what’s stopping us. There will always be someone who seems to be growing faster than you and there will also be those who are lagging behind. Stop comparing and only look at yourself and focus on where you want to go not where everyone else is.

If you only lose 10lbs this year or write half your first draft or run a 5k instead of a marathon, all of it’s better then nothing and all of it is better then where you were last year. Flowers, they don’t know to be dissatisfied with where their seeds have fallen, they only know to grow. So let that be us this year. May we work with what we have, and stretch towards the Sun and soak up the rain and grow right where we are. May we be gracious with ourselves and with others as we have all walked into this year with wounds and heavy hearts and the fact that the calendar switched to 2021 didn’t change that. May we be patient with ourselves and eachtoher as we all try to do better. You are loved, you are growing, you are enough right where you are.

Maybe it’s just me stuck in the comparison game but I feel like we live in a world where we see a lot of people from all walks living these crazy successful lives. There are 7 year-olds making millions on You Tube and moms running million dollar businesses and a kid who claims he will retire a millionaire by 25. We have people whose first novel became a best seller and pastors planting mega churches and everything around us just looks so BIG and so well done. When that is what we surround ourselves with we may feel the subconscious pull to keep up. We may wonder what we are doing wrong, or tell ourselves “if they can do it you can too you have no excuses.”

But is that what you even want?

I have thought long and hard about what I want in life. I want to write books but do they need to be bestsellers? No. I currently do run my own business but I have intentionally kept it at 5 clients right now So I can enjoy the work I do and bring in some extra income but not be overwhelmed. I also don’t want my side business to become my life work, I knew that going into it. I would rather have more time to write my own words then have all my time filled writing for others. Would I love to be making more money? Yes but I am so content in our little condo right now, paying off debt and saving for a dream home. I am happy right where we are.

With that I am here to remind you and myself that it is okay to have small dreams. It’s okay to simply want to be a mom and not run your own side hustle. It’s okay if all you want is your little Etsy shop to bring in a couple hundred a month and you enjoy keeping a day job. It’s okay if your only one big dream is to have a family or write one book or live out a simple life loving your partner, your kids or your dogs or the land that sits in front of you. You’re not required to change the world. You’re not required to leave anything big behind. To live and to love well is enough. You aren’t required to be an influencer. You don’t need to make millions or be famous to have a good life.

Don’t forget that this is your life, your family, your platform, your space. You are the one that will ultimately choose to grow it or keep it where it’s at. Bigger is not always better. Bigger also doesn’t always mean more impactful. Rich people are not always happier. Being famous doesn’t necessarily mean you are more fulfilled. Because I have heard it from rock stars and authors and all sorts of people at the top, they are still just human. When the lights go out and the crowds are done cheering and they go home they are still just them. If you want to do big things then go for that and chase your dreams. If you are happy and content with a simple life and just being you then that is okay too.  If you want to bake bread or learn how to paint or redecorate someone’s home or sing, you can! You don’t have to be outstanding or amazing at any of these to do these things. We can dream small dreams and chase them and they are just as fulfilling as the “big” ones.  What makes a dream big or small anyway? Many times we base it on status, fame, or money but I think if we looked at how happy or fulfilled it makes you, then all dreams would be big ones anyway wouldn’t they? You are alive and living and what you choose to do with this life given is up to you. Make it a good one and don’t let the comparison game make you feel like your dream has to look like theirs.

 

It can be easy this first month of January to aim for perfection. It’s a fresh year with no mistakes in it yet and that can feel so inspiring. It pushes us towards setting these big resolutions that we feel like we have to keep perfectly. Then as soon as we miss a workout or have a cigarette or don’t read our 10 pages, we quit. We feel like somehow our goals has been “ruined” and we throw in the towel. This is very easy to do if you’re stuck inside a perfectionistic mindset. As  a recovering perfectionist I totally understand this. I even dealt with my own version of this last month with Blogmas. I had a rough week and missed a few posts and then felt like because the perfect streak was broken, for some reason I wasn’t allowed to jump back in. Not this year. This year I am stumbling towards my goals and my dreams with bare feet and no clear map just a general direction. I can often fall prey to thinking I need a perfect plan and to do list to get something done but then often times nothing gets done at all.

Here is a quiet reminder this morning that being perfect is not the goal, faithfulness is. And if you show up everyday no matter how imperfectly you will make progress towards the person you are trying to become, even if it’s a little slower. Showing up everyday with the heart to improve is better then only showing up when you can do things “perfectly”. Our lives do not allow for things to be perfect and that is why if you can find little ways to show up for yourself those will add up quickly. You may not be able to show up for your full workout but taking a 10 minute walk is better then not doing anything at all. You might not get to the three chapters you hoped to read but one page is better then nothing. Writing one sentences instead of your page is better then nothing written at all. We can often fall into a go-big-or-go-home mindset and feel like it’s all or nothing. That’s the trap.

This year I am embracing the saying that done is better then perfect. The crappy novel you actually finish writing is better then your “perfect” novel that never even gets outlined. Loading the dishwasher, even when you can’t deep clean the kitchen like you wanted, is better then not cleaning anything.

That’s why I have decided to make my word for this year “Messy”. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous and not super inspiring but it is to me.  I based it off the poem by Shanti

“And at the end of the day, your feet should be dirty, your hair messy and your eyes sparkling.”

Living a full life never looks “neat”. Living a big wonderful life can’t be kept perfectly planned or tidy or without surprises. Being out there and doing things means my hair might get a little messy and my feet might get a little dirty but that is what happens to make your eyes sparkle with being alive. I have begun to think that you can’t have both. You either get a completely pulled together life or you go out there and actually live. What’s the big deal about everything being perfect anyway? So I have decided that that is how I am going to walk this year. It’s not easy and it’s not my default but I think it’s what I need to truly move forward.

So here is to letting you know that showing up everyday for yourself, no matter how messy, is a lot better then trying to keep a perfect streak going. Know where you want to go. figure out systems to get there and give yourself grace as you stumble towards it.